{"id":2107,"date":"2014-06-09T12:43:15","date_gmt":"2014-06-09T12:43:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/192.154.101.236\/~nancyalv\/?p=2107"},"modified":"2023-04-02T14:33:08","modified_gmt":"2023-04-02T18:33:08","slug":"el-divorcio-y-los-hijos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/el-divorcio-y-los-hijos\/","title":{"rendered":"El divorcio y los hijos"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">I read on the cover of a magazine something in relation to couples and the need to avoid <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/divorcio-menos-danino\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">divorce<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> since it affects children. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Did they discover America? <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">I am really concerned about ignorance on this subject, so I address it over and over again, to see if people and the media understand it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The first thing is to define what others call \u00aba good <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/los-hijos-del-divorcio\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">divorce<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> .\u00bb <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">That does not exist, because for there to be a good <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/los-hijos-del-divorcio-ii\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">divorce<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> , you need the same as for there to be a good marriage.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><strong><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">What does it take to have a &#8216;good divorce&#8217;?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">I respect<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Be loyal<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Good communication<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Having grown up as a human being<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Be transparent<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Behave like an adult<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Value the other<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">To be honest<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Know how to forgive and ask for forgiveness<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Study, read, attend workshops and talks about <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/como-hacer-que-su-pareja-funcione\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">couples<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">And the most difficult: seek <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/por-que-busco-parejas-que-no-estan-disponibles\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">couples therapy<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> whenever it is needed.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">More than 30 years ago, at the press conference for <\/span><\/span><em><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Only for Adults<\/span><\/span><\/em><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> , my first TV program in the Dominican Republic, I said that education was obsolete and that we were learning things that were not really important for life. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">It is sad to see that education is still a dinosaur, at least in relation to this issue. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The surprising thing is that this often includes even a college education. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">A psychology Ph.D. student recently told me that she had NEVER received a <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/edad-se-comenzar-la-educacion-sexual\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Sex Education<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> class <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">and that Family Therapy <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">classes <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">were electives. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">How in the XXI century a psychologist can help someone being a sexual and family illiterate?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Nobody teaches us the most important tasks in life. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We learn them by sheer blows and with serious consequences for <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/parejas-de-transicion\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">couples,<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> families, children and therefore, for society. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Who taught you to be a father or mother? <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Who taught you to be a <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/defectos-fatales-la-pareja\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">couple<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> ? <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Were you educated sexually? <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Do you know what makes a family functional?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Do you know how to choose a <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/problemas-pareja-relacion-funcione\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">partner<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> , when to marry and when not? <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The shameful thing is that today all that is science. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">And instead of teaching it in schools and universities, nonsense is being repeated, like the famous abstinence.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Whenever a marriage can be saved, it must be saved, especially if there are children. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">That means resolving conflicts and seeking help from a good <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/relacion-de-pareja\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">couples<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> and family therapist <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">It must be clear that for love to work, loving each other is not enough. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We need to learn about being a <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/disfrute-la-sexualidad-la-pareja\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">couple<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> . <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We must prepare and stop daydreaming. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">This soap opera culture is killing us. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The most difficult relationship of the ball in the world is that. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">If it does not work, the children and the family are affected, and if you did not know it, society is nothing more than the sum of all families. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">No wonder we are so bad.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We also know that a <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">badly handled <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/los-hijos-del-divorcio-3\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">divorce<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> is just as damaging as a marriage full of fights and conflicts, where children are used and involved in the affairs of the couple. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">In every family there must be inviolable borders, even if they are flexible. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Mom and dad&#8217;s affairs are handled only by them. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The spouses have to take care of their relationship and not confuse it with that of being parents. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We cannot forget to take care of the couple to focus only on the children. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We will be parents for life but being a couple will depend on what you do with your relationship.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">In a <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/los-hijos-del-divorcio-4\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">divorce,<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> children must know that they are not at fault and that they will continue to be loved and protected. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Children must be informed of the <\/span><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/los-hijos-del-divorcio\/\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">divorce<\/span><\/span><\/a><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"> and why the parents believe they are getting divorced, WITHOUT SPEAKING EVIL ABOUT THE OTHER. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">We must respect the image that the child should have of his father-mother. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Studies indicate that children end up having serious conflicts with the parent who speaks ill of the other parent.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Resume:<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">It is not so easy to ask that couples stay together to avoid that the children suffer the brunt of a badly handled divorce. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Those of a marriage that is maintained despite being hell, are worse.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The fever is not in the sheets. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">The only way to reduce the divorce rate is to expand family and sex education in schools and universities. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Train our children and adults to \u00ablive\u00bb in harmony and overcome their conflicts. <\/span><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">To know how to choose a partner and have functional families.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\"><span style=\"vertical-align: inherit;\">Education in general continues to ignore this and is irresponsible in not taking up the challenge of a true education for life.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I read on the cover of a magazine something in relation to couples and the need to avoid divorce since it affects children. Did they discover America? I am really concerned about ignorance on this subject, so I address it over and over again, to see if people and the media understand it. The first [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4428,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[115,14,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-asi-piensa-nancy","category-familiares","category-sin-categoria"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2107"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2107"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2107\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7915,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2107\/revisions\/7915"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dranancy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}